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Jennifer Aniston Talks Dildos To Disabled Children

November 24, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Jennifer Aniston did some terrible government subsidized British talk show and brought up sex toys. This generated some excitement amongst the British viewing audience because they live for this type of shit. I READ MORE

The Kanye Thing Starting To Make Sense

November 23, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Contrary to popular belief, you can be mentally ill and a huge asshole. Meaning, you don't get to walk around acting like a major cunt and blame it on your illness. Some schizophrenics think the clouds are cartoons. Others... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Finally Getting It

November 22, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow appears to be coming to the realization that people hate her because she's a pompous elitist cunt who sells fifteen thousand dollar dildos. When you come from a family of means and have some social status, people... READ MORE

The Game Gets 7 Million For Groping

November 22, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Robert Mugabe had some good ideas. He is the dictator who rounds up groups of people he doesn't like and executes them. Problem is he abused the power, but imagine if you could put out a casting call for... READ MORE

Nick Gordon Can’t Pay For His Murders

November 21, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

There are a few drawbacks to marrying your loser adopted elder brother. Firstly, people tend to discuss how weird it is. This can lead you to be kind of a recluse like Woody Allen. Also, it means the guy... READ MORE

World Toilet Day Was Full Of Winners

November 21, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Saturday was World Toilet Day. If you missed it don't be alarmed, any worthy cause would be scheduled for a weekday. World Toilet Day's mission was to bring awareness about all the people around the world who don't have... READ MORE

Brooke Mueller To Psych Ward

November 18, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Charlie Sheen's ex Brooke Mueller and mother to his demon children was reportedly seen beating her kids at a car wash in Utah, so don't stereotype the Jews. Her mom then had her booked into a psych ward because... READ MORE

Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Divorce

November 18, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have finalized their divorce, which is a polite thing to do if you're trying to get fifty million bucks out of another guy you weren't fucking. Carey reported making over twice as much money... READ MORE

LeBron’s Posse Hurts

November 17, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Phil Jackson is an overpaid crotchety pretentious fuck who is almost certainly a dick to the waitress. He thinks he's really smart because he coached the best teams of all time. Roll out the ball and ramble about yoga.... READ MORE

Kate Upton Fucks Justin Verlander

November 17, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kate Upton and Justin Verlander fuck. It's unclear what bed frame could hold them but they definitely do. As proof, there's a photo of one time he jizzed on her large deltoid. Admit it, if you're driving along a... READ MORE

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