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Ashton Kutcher Not Super Original

August 11, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ashton Kutcher’s website aplus.com has been stealing content from other sites. The site attempts to pass itself off as a socially conscientious tool for empowerment, but is actually just a trough of stolen cat pictures. The mission statement describes... READ MORE

Blake Lively Castrating Ryan Reynolds

August 11, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Blake Lively says her husband Ryan Reynolds is incredibly involved in her lifestyle website Preserve. The site is made up of yuppy instagram porn featuring gourmet culinary items and overpriced trust fund hipster garbage such as vintage bow ties.... READ MORE

Sasha Grey Just A Typical Porn Star

August 11, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Sasha Grey has filed a restraining order against her ex boyfriend Ian Cinnamon, who she claims has beat and raped her since she was 16, and apparently convinced her to do porn because he was a spy and it... READ MORE

Greg Oden Finally Plays Aggressive

August 8, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

NBA draft bust Greg Oden admitted he punched his ex girlfriend in the face and hurt her pretty badly. Couple Oden’s massive career frustrations with heavy drinking and penchant for domestic violence and he is an excellent candidate to... READ MORE

Joan Rivers Just Won’t Go Away

August 8, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Joan Rivers threw out some incendiary comments regarding the Gaza conflict but nobody really cared because everybody knows she’s creepy old and desperate for attention. Rivers is turning into the grandma who drops an N Bomb and everyone shrugs... READ MORE

Floyd Mayweather Desperate For Approval

August 8, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Floyd Mayweather posted a clip to Instagram of himself getting washed in a bathtub. The woman is apparently his assistant and Vegas odds just spiked on how long will pass before she sues him for sexual harassment. Mayweather posted... READ MORE

Lady Gaga Might Have Ebola

August 8, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lady Gaga was hospitalized for altitude sickness after her show in Denver. On the scale of bullshit music industry medical code ‘altitude ‘sickeness’ is pretty high. Dehydration means you are unable to find drugs and Exhaustion means you found... READ MORE

Katherine Heigl Too Good To Be Hired

August 7, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

In a pretentious new interview, Katherine Heigl says she left Hollywood for Utah because she wanted her family of adopted international babies to come first. Her explanation is in slight contrast to what everybody else in Hollywood believes is Heigl... READ MORE

Schwarzenegger Remains Super Clever

August 7, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Arnold posted a photo to his Instagram announcing the title of the new Terminator film, Terminator: Genisys. Since Arnold has refused to learn more than a modicum of tourist level English even after nearly forty-five years of living in... READ MORE

Katie Holmes Has No Regrets

August 7, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Its the classic growing up story where a young lady gets pregnant by Kris Klein from American Pie and immediately marries a weird older guy with dark hair and a huge jaw so as to avoid any Blanket Jackson... READ MORE

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