Jay Leno was honored at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Leno has been hypnotizing his vanilla wafer eating audience into a state of catatonia for the past two millennia.... READ MORE

Stephen Collins will not be charged with child molestation, even though he admitted to various lewd and German businessmen type acts with young neighbor girls back in the day. The statute of limitations has expired on the crimes he... READ MORE

Shia LaBeouf claimed his drunken buffoonery was caused by his acting research and not the fact that he’s incredibly prone to being a douchebag. It’s hard to come to grips with being a Teen Beat boy slut. Some deal... READ MORE

The NYPD just released the stats of all the weapons seized from city high schoolers last year and the results are you should move your family to Connecticut. Confiscated items include guns, boxcutters, tasers, knives, and more than likely... READ MORE

If you’ve seen the fall season’s latest shit box called Laughs on Fox you should really get out more. Rat faced joke poacher and probable jaundice victim Steve Hofstetter produces the show, which means some shit for brains executive... READ MORE

War Machine attempted to strangle himself with a bed sheet while in jail cell awaiting trial on badly assaulting his girlfriend charges and must have tapped out before a prison guard cut him free. His lawyers clearly told him... READ MORE

Joe Biden’s son Hunter was kicked out of the Navy after testing positive for cocaine. This wouldn’t be a story if Hunter was a tyke fresh out of college, but at the age of forty four he is the... READ MORE

John Grisham made some comment about how people busted for child porn get unduly long prison sentences while promoting his latest formulaic drivel aimed at high school secretaries on their quest to find the missing hall pass. He thinks... READ MORE

Ashley Longshore specializes in creating ‘family portraits’ for the one percent of people financially capable of commissioning her work without immediately regretting their decision. Typically these families are looking for masturbatory allusions to their unhealthy obsession with greed and... READ MORE

Slipknot was denied the ability to light barrels of camel shit on fire by officials during the upcoming Knotfest Music Festival. They had planned to “Infest your brain, body and clothes for days” with shit other than their questionable... READ MORE