February 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Some random guy was just chilling in his blog office late last Thursday when an unknown woman knocked on his door and announced: “I have Oprah and she really has to pee. Can she use your bathroom?” This supplicant happened to...
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February 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
The cultural abomination Two and a Half Men is over after twelve painful seasons. Fans of the show had hoped Charlie Sheen would return for the finale and also that they’d be allowed some extra warm milk tonight. Sheen’s...
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February 25, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
Coverage of the Aaron Hernandez trial is conspicuously lacking from ESPN and major news outlets. ESPN ass funneled you stories about Patriots’ deflated footballs yet rarely mentions that the same team used to employ Scarface. The NFL is clearly exerting...
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February 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Guy Fieri and his face personally officiated 101 gay weddings in Miami at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival. This was based on a promotional event where the first 101 gay couples to tweet #101gayweddings would be included. It’s...
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February 24, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
The Oscars are an obnoxious self congratulatory circle jerk you’re occasionally forced to sit through with your girlfriend while she cries and you consider breaking up with her. She would totally blow Cumberbatch. Not even hypothetically. Just right now,...
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February 24, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Some guy named Byron Jones broad jumped 12 feet 3 inches at the NFL combine. The broad jump is where you just stand there and then jump, meaning Jones could probably kick the shit out of a saber tooth...
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February 24, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Your average SAG member doesn’t read Popular Science or really anything except tapas menus and blogs that Google alerts their name. Yet they’re the first to vote for any film chronicling the subject of intellectualism. You’d think this were because the...
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February 24, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
Vince McMahon is 69 years old an on the cover of the new Muscle and Fitness magazine. Allegations of photoshopping promptly surfaced but the sad truth is it’s good lighting and enough synthetic hormones to power a NASCAR. I’ve heard my...
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February 24, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Contrary to popular belief not all dudes express themselves through uncontrollable consumerism are gay. Some are just real dumb and want to prove to the companies selling them overpriced garbage that they have enough money to afford it. You...
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February 23, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Patricia Arquette used her Oscar acceptance speech to address the issue of unequal pay for women. The macro stats do reveal that women earn slightly less than men on average. They also show women take more sick days and...
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