Has it really been twenty years since Lisa Rinna was on all those shows that I never watched? You couldn’t tell from looking at her that she’s turning 50 in a couple months. Even those brand new nipples on... READ MORE

Sure, you could pretend you care about Nina Agdal. What’s her story? What are her hobbies and interests? Does she like to run the bathtub spigot intermittently over her honey patch as she rubs her body with a soapy... READ MORE

If Elisha Cuthbert isn’t in your tug vault, then it’s time for a banking audit. So fucking hot. As she was back in 24 as the teen with the boobs that were always in trouble, to turning boys into... READ MORE

Tall hot girls from Florida always seem to end up marrying tawdry older real estate dudes who bang their secretaries when their wife is out at Pilates (men really are like that, the rumors are true). Project Runway model... READ MORE

Turns out, the innovation-averse monkeys on network television couldn’t even develop a celebrity diving show on their own. Splash, the new horrible TV show that I’ll probably watch, showing mostly fat and tired celebrities learning how to dive into... READ MORE

Rihanna’s been talking this week about making a baby with Chris Brown. Because she’s in love. And she’s stupid as fuck. If you’re not picturing an angry high-pitched squealing Chris Brown beating the baby out of Rihanna, you’re not... READ MORE

I’m not sure when exactly girls learn to wiggle their bare ass in the air, maybe it’s one of those coming of age rituals passed down from mom to daughter, kind of like my old man telling me not... READ MORE

Is Britney Spears bent over in her shorts still going to get your attention? Yes, it will. Because you’re a dude and you’d watch a geriatric bent over in her nursing gown to retrieve her spilled meds if you... READ MORE

Christie Brinkley still looks hot. I think she’s 100 or something, but some combination of genetics and surgeries and dumping her last husband who was addicted to Internet porn has kept her looking like she’s the mom every boy... READ MORE

We had some amazing pictures of Emily Ratajkowski up before Carl’s Jr. went and ruined everything by forcing us to remove them. There’s nothing worse than a legal letter from a burger chain. It’s all nasty and threatening and... READ MORE