It’s sad when any young guy who seemingly isn’t such a bad guy dies. Sure, we could blame MTV, but they didn’t invent stupidity, they only foster it, highlight it, and make tons of money from exploiting it. Like... READ MORE

I guess Katy Perry’s an okay person, if she’s not your henpecking girlfriend with a weird upbringing that taught her not to have sex but to highlight her titties to become famous. I wouldn’t go in there if I... READ MORE

Lady Gaga has been wheelchair bound since the weight of being such an unattractive sexy symbol caused her hip to snap. But, no worries, it’s a Louis Vuitton designer wheelchair especially made for her. It comes complete with a... READ MORE

Of course, I kid. Khloe probably has a monster gash buried beneath her flesh-colored asexual chub-containment Spanx. It’s right below the talking skull and cross bones with the query ‘Ye come seekin’ adventure with salty old pirates, eh?’ tattoo.... READ MORE

Somebody is not handling his parents messy divorce so well. Patrick Schwarzenegger is nineteen, rich, and the male model scion of a famous family. He’s the toast of teen girls discovering their sexuality by way of Tiger Beat celebrity... READ MORE

Hayden Panettiere can afford to be cocky. When you’re a midget and the entire male world wants to bang the snot out of you, you’re doing well for yourself. She’s also now engaged to Vladimir Klitschko who may or... READ MORE

As if things couldn’t get worse for the spitting teen lesbian, police last week made one of the biggest cocaine busts in history outside Vegas, snatching up a truck driver carrying $11 million worth of cocaine wrapped in both Justin... READ MORE

The great addiction cliche is that druggies have to hit ‘rock bottom’ before they realize they need to fix their shit. But what about attention whores with dreams of Hollywood stardom? How do they know when they’ve plummeted into... READ MORE

Rumor has it, this G.I. Joe movie has been sitting in a can for many years now. The release date has seen more bumps than Paris Hilton during a work play vacay in Medellin (that was a fucking reach).... READ MORE

Somewhere, at some time, in some place, somebody decided that eighteen was the age at which we could start talking about how good looking girls are. I mean, there’s a much harder, firmer rule about the whole touching thing,... READ MORE