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Porsche Settles In Paul Walker Death

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

We live in a world with Tupac holograms and dying mid movie won’t put a halt on a million dollar investment. Everyone in entertainment is coming back from the dead. Killed in car accident? Walk that shit off, we... READ MORE

Bill Nye Enjoys A Good Twerk

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It’s surreal to see the stars of yesteryears talk current topics like twerking. When the entire generation after the one you taught starts believing in things like the earth being flat, everything looks like a lost cause. But if... READ MORE

Fear And Loathing Is Getting A TV Series

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Illegal substance enthusiast amongst other things Hunter S. Thompson is getting a TV series focusing on his wild life. It’s hard to not make as many cinematic interpretations as possible about a man who enjoyed doing so many hard... READ MORE

Tyrese Gibson Too Cool For A Restraining Order

October 26, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Not all celebrities are stupid sticks in the mud when it comes to solving their problems. Did your baby momma go to the court to file papers preventing you from seeing your offspring? Just call in an advertisement airstrike... READ MORE

Pole Dance Is Officially A Sport, Olympic Contending Strippers Coming Soon

October 26, 2017 | video | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

For once women can finally take pride in pole dancing instead of it only being celebrated in the privacy of sketchy clubs. That woman with the C-section scars struggling to feed her five kids was always an athlete

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Uncle Jesse Engaged, Have Mercy

October 26, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos’ level of cool in the universe created on TV will always be appreciated. I hope his actress girlfriend of two years, Caitlin Mchugh, can appreciate a man with a good set of morals and motorcycle... READ MORE

Terry Richardson Sacrificed As Sexual Harassment Apocalypse Presses On

October 26, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Not too long ago it was possible to make a career from being a creepy guy taking upskirt pictures. You either ended up the CEO of some streaming porn site or Terry Richardson. 

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Katy Perry Wedding Crasher

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

A poor woman will spend the rest of her life out-shined by Katy on her own wedding day. The bride already doesn’t want the bridesmaids looking more attractive than her. Just imagine the pressure competing with Perry when she crashes... READ MORE

Kim Cattrall Couldn’t Find The Time To Have Kids

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It’s unfortunate that Sex And The City didn’t provide it’s cast with a lay on your back and get pregnant paid time off package in addition to the free on-set doughnuts. Otherwise Kim Cattrall would be a mom.

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World Still Cares About Janet Jackson’s Nips As JT Secures SuperBowl Gig

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Imagine an entire crowd of people kneeling at halftime to protest the injustices of 2004’s NFL nipplegate. If you’re late to the party #JusticeForJanet is the in-trend.

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