The police are last group of people you want to run into when you’re wasted. The quickest way to blow your buzz is being cuffed at the end of the night by a uniformed officer instead of that busty... READ MORE

Having siblings can sometimes suck. Especially when their crimes get you caught too. But there’s no sympathy for someone who catches collateral damage child pornography charges.

Animals are people too. Or something like that according to PETA. I’m not too sure exactly what their entire philosophy entails but I know they don’t want you eating Chic-Fil-A or wearing mink coats in the winter. 

The last person anyone should seek an altercation with is someone who fights for a living. The man is literally fighting for survival. It’s his main source of income. 

Not too long before, the big guy upstairs used to be the glue that held certain societies together. Someone to pray to in the face of danger and after unprotected sex with strippers. 

Ellen Degeneres could do no wrong pre-#metoo era. Saying something slightly offensive that would offend the most PC to a tee type of person could be brushed off and dismissed as Ellen being old and out of touch. Not... READ MORE

Mary J. Blige's entire discography can be summed up as melodies about addiction and domestic abuse. Blacking out and black eyes can lead to Billboard number one singles if you sing about it. 

When you’re a wealthy business owner you want to stay wealthy. So when the workforce you hire typically has a proclivity to enjoy pot you’ll have to look the other way when it comes to weed if you want... READ MORE

What’s the average time men last in the sack? I’m going to need a locker room survey because Jared Kushner is bragging about banging Ivanka Trump for a full 21 minutes and uploaded a sappy Spotify playlist as proof.

Justin Beiber is still going through growing pains when it comes to girls. Sure, picking which religious cult you want to belong to is easy but knowing which woman you want to throw away your bachelor eligibility on is... READ MORE