Dan Aykroyd Not Guilty Of Murder, Only Of Making Shitty Movies

Dan Aykroyd was the prime suspect in a murder investigation in Canada…for like half an hour. It seems that a sanitation worker was sifting through tons of old garbage at the dump when he came across an old damaged film strip. When he looked closely he saw a man standing over a bloody corpse. So, rather than thinking that maybe this 35 mm print someone had carelessly thrown in the trash was an old movie, the garbageman decided it must be a snuff film. He took it to the cops and they CSI’d that shit only to find that it was in fact a scene from Aykroyd’s horrible “comedy” Loose Cannons. His people confirmed that this was the case and the cops shut down the investigation. This entire story made me a little nervous as to the brazen invasion of privacy. And also very glad that I switched to purely to digital when I film the mostly broken Thai girls imprisoned in my basement. Unless I accidentally drunk Tweet that shit, I’m pretty safe from snooping Canadian garbage men.