Amanda Bynes Is Innocent of Bong Throwing — According to Amanda Bynes

Leave it to Amanda Bynes to find humor in even the most serious of situations. That crazy little scamp. Police arrested her for smoking weed and tossing her bong out of hi-rise window to hide the evidence, oh, and for being bat shit crazy. But Amanda knows what’s really going on. Probably a conspiracy. Might be related to terror events in London, the Chinese nuclear program, and the real reason the Ferris Bueller TV show spinoff never made it. But just know it runs deep. How else to explain a girl who’s never used drugs or had a drink being routinely busted for drinking and driving and drug possession. Some people keep glass pipes as collectibles. And some people like to throw their collectibles out the window at the sound of knocks at their door. That’s how I lost my entire He-Man Mint in Box collector’s set. Leave Amanda alone!