Heidi Klum Did Rescue a Nanny from Drowning!

Wow, I feel like such a shitheel. Okay, yeah, son Henry did make it back to shore on his own okay during the harrowing Klum family Hawaiian vacation nightmare, but the nannies were in danger! Specifically one chunky nanny who’s not such a strong swimmer. A nanny for whom both Heidi and her former bodyguard turned Teutonic clitoral flicker both leapt into the raging knee deep waters of the mighty Pacific to rescue. And we have the photo proof! This is so exciting. Like when my Aunt Eve almost choked on a ham bone three Easters ago. And not just a tiny broken off bone bit. I mean the whole pig haunch femur. Aunt Eve loves a good dare. But nothing compared to the excitement and heroism on display from Heidi Klum. She got so chest proud from her rescue, her nipple popped out of her bikini. That’s serious pride.

It should be noted that unlike how she treats some of her household staff, Heidi did not fuck her nanny after the bold rescue.

Photo credit: AKM/GSI