Amanda Bynes Turning Into Captain Lou Albano

We reported yesterday on Amanda Bynes’ continuing transformation from cute Nickelodeon teen star to full fledged crack whore. Her bizarre appearance in a recent tweet in which she looked like if Nicki Minaj was hit by a car, got stuck in the grille, was scraped off, and her face was injected with shark semen. What struck me most about her new look was the cheek piercings. You just don’t see those much. The interwebs is all abuzz with speculation on her mental state, (fucking crazy), and whether the aspiring fashion designer is trying to create a new trend with her busted face and cheek piercings. Then I realized that she wasn’t creating a new look but bringing back an old one: that of Captain Lou Albano.

You might remember Captain Lou as the wrestling star from the 80’s that played Mario in The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. He also bizarrely appeared in a bunch of Cindy Lauper videos. He had a prominent cheek piercing and his swollen hideous visage was not unlike Amanda’s new face. I’m not sure if she’s going to get super fat and start wearing Hawaiian shirts soon. One can only hope.