STUFF FROM ALL OVER

JAY LENO IS MOVING TO PRIME TIME – In one of the more staggering Hollywood comebacks you'll ever see, Jay Leno has somehow gone from fired to promoted.  He’s already been replaced as the Tonight Show host by Conan O’Brian starting next year, but now NBC has announced he will essentially be doing the same show in prime time, at 10:00 pm, 5 nights a week.  His salary, rumored to be around 30 million a year, is expected to stay the same, saving the network almost 13 million dollars a week when compared to typical prime time programming.  It also means NBC will have two hours of original programming a night, then three and a half hours of talk shows.  My, what creative thinking that is.  How do they do it!  I'm gonna go pitch them a show called "Duck Pond".  Basically we show a live shot from a duck pond for 60 minutes.  I figure it can be on at least three nights a week, along with a Christmas special where we put the ducks in little Santa hats. 

HAROLD AND MAUDE WANNA BE NEIGHBORS – Alex Rodriquez insists that he's not moving in with Madonna but the Daily News says she wants to buy him a house right next to hers, so it's pretty much the same thing. And by that, I mean boring.SCOTT RUFFALO IS DEAD – Scott Ruffalo, the brother of actor Mark Ruffalo, died last night after suffering a gunshot wound last week.  The two prime suspects, Brian Scofield and Shaha Mishaal Adham, turned themselves in to the Bev Hills PD yesterday.  The good news is, I'm fine.  The picture of health and vitality.  OPRAH IS A FAT COW – Oprah says she now weighs over 200 pounds, having gained 40 pounds in the last two years.  She says,  "I'm embarrassed … I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, 'How did I let this happen again?' " and "I felt like a fat cow. I wanted to disappear."  That makes two of us.  Her closet must look like a sleeping bag display.