BRITNEY IS DOING GREAT

Doing absolutely anything over the holidays goes against my inherent sense of laziness, so I truly had no idea that Britney was in Europe this weekend as part of her comeback tour. She was on the Star Academy (I have no idea what that is), the Bambi Awards (I have no idea what that is but it sounds like porn awards) and Simon Cowells show "X Factor". Suffice to say her performances did anything but help. The Daily Mail says…

Britney Spears left behind a trail of disappointed fans as she headed for New York yesterday after a 24-hour visit to London. The singer kept herself hidden behind oversized sunglasses and a fedora hat as she touched down at JFK after her whistlestop tour to the UK fell short of expectation. Such was the anticipation over her guest appearance on the X Factor that it attracted the series's highest audience of 12.8million. But many were less than impressed that she performed for only four minutes on her British comeback – and didn't even sing. She mimed to her new hit Womanizer on the ITV show on Saturday night, apparently because she wanted to concentrate fully on her dance routine. Miss Spears was said to have feared that trying to sing and dance at the same time would prove too much for her.

I really didn’t think her Star Academy thing was that bad. Her stage show at least has a distinct look to it. In Britney’s defense, she had to go out there and sing and dance, and that’s not really her thing. I’m not entirely sure what her thing is, but I know it's not that. Also they put her in 6 inch heels. Every step she took was so deliberate and slow, it was like Indiana Jones trying to spell out "Jehovah" in "Last Crusade". She moved around the stage like someone put a bear in skates and a top hat and then just pushed it out there.