R KELLY IS SO SCREWED

R Kelly’s child pornography trial began yesterday in Chicago.  This case is not to be confused with the case in 2003 when he was indicted on 12 counts of child pornography in Florida after cops found digital pictures of him having sex with an underage girl, or when he married Aaliya when she was 15.  This is different.  This time, he faces 12 counts of soliciting a minor for child pornography in Illinois.  His arrest came after a tape was anonymously mailed to the Chicago Sun-Times, a tape that allegedly shows Kelly having sex with a 13-year-old girl, and yesterday the prosecutors opened with a bang by showing the tape to the jury.  What a sexy trial!  The New York Daily News says…

The body of evidence in the R.Kelly kiddie-porn case could come down to this: a mole on the R&B raunchmeister's back.During opening arguments in his sex-tape trial Tuesday, the defense said the singer couldn't possibly be the man who cavorted with a girl as young as 13.Kelly, 41, has a "significant" mole on his lower middle back, one that's been there since childhood, said lawyer Sam Adam Jr.And the man seen performing a variety of explicit sex acts on the raw video made between 1998 and 2000?"There is no mole on his back," Adam told jurors in a packed Chicago courtroom.A prosecutor told the jury the tape was an R. Kelly production from start to finish, one that the Grammy winner "created, staged, produced and starred in."

Stuff like this is why I rarely have sex with underage girls anymore.  Keep your laws off my body!