MARIAH GOT MARRIED. MAYBE – UPDATE

Us magazine, quoting Latina magazine, says now that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have gotten married, even though it hasn’t even been confirmed that the two are dating, much less engaged.  Us says…

The two got hitched in a small ceremony on an island Wednesday, according to the magazine. They quote a source as saying it was "very impulsive."Rapper Da Brat attended, the magazine says.Cannon's ex-fiancée, model Selita Ebanks, tells Usmagazine.com, "I have no comment but wish them well."Longtime pals, Carey, 38, and the 27-year-old rapper-actor connected when he directed the video for her latest single, "Bye Bye," in late March.

Nick Cannon isn’t wasting any time. He’s like a lion that sees a limping gazelle.  And it’s not surprising.  This dude really really loves spending money, so marrying Mariah Carrey is a good plan if you like tons of money but happen to suck at doing things.

POORLY THOUGHT OUT UPDATE:  Now the New York Post confirms the story, adding that – and this is fucking unbelievable considering shes worth hundreds of millions and he's worth whatever his pastel sweaters cost – there was no pre-nup:

Mariah Carey got secretly hitched to her 27-year-old boyfriend-of-one-month, shocking the chart-topping songbird's family and friends, The Post has learned.Carey married little-screen actor Nick Cannon at the home Carey just bought in Eleuthera, the Bahamas, a source close to the singer said."They have been smitten with each other for days, weeks," the friend said. "And she's always had a crush on him."But not everyone is so over the moon."There was no pre-nup – there wasn't time," said another worried source.

So a rich older lady and a young smooth talking Lothario rush off to an island and get married with no pre-nup?  Oh okay.  After Nick kills her, I think a good name for the movie would be, "The Decapitation of Mimi".