BRITNEY WAS TOUCHED

Britney Spears just sits at home at night in her room these days, because if she’s not treated like a child 24 hours a day she’ll bang the paparazzi and drive around with her kids on top of her car.  And last night was no exception.  She sat at home watching the American Idol charity concert, which is ironic because if she had ever auditioned for Idol, not only would be kicked out, she’d be dragged outside by security and rolled down the hill in a trashcan.  But she did watch, and she even called in to donate some money.  Awww.  Life and Style says…

Britney was so touched by Idol Gives Back on Wednesday, April 9, that she donated $25,000 to the cause, Life & Style can exclusively reveal.  She did it all on her own. She watched the show and cried for like two hours over the children in Africa with malaria,” a Spears family insider tells Life & Style.  She didn’t know much about the disease, so she Googled it. She was horrified to realize kids were dying from mosquito bites.  So she went online and donated after getting [her dad] Jamie's permission. She used her Amex.”

It must be nice to be as oblivious as Britney spears.  Malaria who?  Mosquitoes do what?   Whats 9/11?   How come I canna go party?  In her world, things she sees on American Idol are happening in real time.  Malaria spread by mosquitoes = breaking news.  Also, there's a dancing peanut in a top hat who guarantees freshness, and on another channel there's this big amazing dog who solves mysteries.