SCARLETT IS GAY NOW OR SOMETHING

The New York Post reports today that Scarlett Johansson has a, "steamy lesbian sex scene" with Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen's new movie.  They say:

A source tells us: "It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping." The women later have a threesome with Javier Bardem, who plays Penelope's husband.

Whatever.  This movie is called "Vicky Cristina Barcelona", not "Pussymans House Party".  There’s no way "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" is gonna leave people gasping.  I want to see Scarlett's rack too but there's almost no chance at that.  At best two back-lit silhouettes will lick each others fingers or something.  Real porno features hotter chicks, way more degrading sex and less stammering pauses during the dialogue.  Real porno has girls complaining because it got in their eye, Woody Allen movies have him complaining that Jews can't play basketball.  Advantage: Hardcore Porn.