BRITNEY HAD IMPLANTS AS A TEEN

Rolling Stone has a cover story this week about Britney Spears entitled, "Inside An American Tragedy".  Try and guess if it's good.  The New York Post has an excerpt and says this:

She had her breasts enlarged as a teenager, but later … "regretted the implants, particularly because her chest was still growing," the magazine reports. "And when her natural breasts became larger, she had the implants removed." Spears has always denied she was surgically enhanced.

Rolling Stone has an excerpt as well, saying Britney went completely apeshit recently when her credit card would not go through at Betsy Johnson.

Then she ducks into the dressing room with (Adnan) Ghalib. He emerges with her black Am Ex.The card won't go through, but they keep trying it."Please," begs Ghalib, "get this done quickly."One of the girls runs to Britney's dressing room, explaining the situation through a pink gauze curtain.A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member's deathbed. "Fuck these bitches," screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. "These idiots can't do anything right!"Ghalib dashes over to console her, but she's already spitting, growling, throwing a big bottle of soda on the floor so that it begins to spill underneath the curtain, and then she's got a box of tissues and is throwing them on top of the wet floor along with piles of discarded merchandise. A new card finally goes through, but by then Britney is out the door, leaving her shirt on the ground and replacing it with the red top. "Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck," she keeps screaming, her face splotchy and red as she crosses the interminable mall floor, the crowd behind her growing larger and larger. "Leave us alone!" yells Ghalib.(One girl catches up to ask for a picture) "Um, I'm from the South too," she mumbles, "and I was wondering if I could get a picture with you for my little sister."Britney turns to Ghalib and grabs his arm. "I don't want her talking to me!" she screams. She whirls around and stares the girl deep in the eyes, her lips almost vibrating with anger. "I don't know who you think I am, bitch," she snarls, "but I'm not that person."

Jesus who wrote that, Jackie Collins?  "Her lips almost vibrating with anger”?  What the fuck does that even mean, and how did they determine that?  What kind of reporting is this?  And what kind of Britney story doesn't feature her eating frosting out of a can with her fingers?  I call shenanigans, my friends.  Shenanigans, indeed.