JESSICA ALBA IS COOL, A LITTLE SPACEY

The only way Jessica Alba could get any cooler is if one day she could fly.  Along with being super hot yet shockingly normal, she's also not above making fun of pointless celebrities.  AOL says:

During a chat with Elle magazine, in which Alba graces the February cover, Alba recalls sharing a stage with Efron at last year's Teen Choice Awards. Upon meeting the actor, Alba says she thought to herself: "He looks like a child with a lot of makeup." Alba, 27, continues, saying she thought of the 20-year-old: "My God, you're just a little kid."

Remember Alba is also the one who got Paris Hilton dropped by her agent.  She's like a one man gang, taking back the streets of Hollywood for the pure at heart.  Inspired by her lead, I called Britney Spears' house to tell her to "knock it off".  Britney didn't answer but her maid did and so I called her a fag and then quickly hung up, then requested a high-five from my buddies for my well played zinger.  The maid didn't seem to speak any English, but I think deep down we both knew I had made some pretty good points and my Aristotelian logic had won the day.