THIS IS WHY PARIS IS AN IDIOT

New York Magazine, via the New York Daily News, says today that Rick and Kathy Hilton, the parents of Paris and Nicky Hilton, once were so high they crushed up a rock of cocaine and did it right on the carpet after it fell off a table while partying with Randy Jones, the gay cowboy from the Village People.

In 1977, [Jones] found himself sharing a table at Studio 54 with two people he recalls as being Paris' parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton. "There was one rock of cocaine left, and it rolled off the table," he said. "They just didn't even bother bringing it back up to a hard surface — they just crushed it into the carpet and snorted it off that."  Jones explained, "Whatever Paris Hilton is, she came by it honestly!"

I think the mistake a lot of people make when doing cocaine in a club with gay cowboys is that the gay cowboy is your friend.  Oh, he's not.  He'll turn on you.  Cowboys are dicks.  I was driving down the road one day and saw an evil cowboy being mean to his horse so I jumped the fence, punched him out and saved the horse.  True story!