NEXT BRITNEY IS WAY BETTER

Page Six says that Jive records has as much confidence in Britney Spears as everyone else, meaning, absolutely none.  So when they got ready to spend half a million dollars to shoot a video for her, they didn't do it without a backup plan.  A seXXXy backup plan.

"Britney was supposed to shoot a video for her song 'Pieces of Me' last Tuesday at Social Hollywood," a well-placed Jive insider told Page Six."Jive hired Wayne Isham to direct, had all the dancers there – hair, makeup and everything, but she refused to come. Jive was really upset. They were already paying everyone overtime, and finally Britney showed up 12 hours late – but only after they told her they were going to give the video shoot to another Jive artist, Samantha Jade."Jade, a rising star on the label, was told to be on call to shoot her video for her single "Eyes on Me."  "They were going to recalibrate it for Samantha, because it was too expensive to just scrap," our source said. "Britney finally showed up when she realized a new, younger, hotter girl would take her slot."

Jade is the chick in the picture (ass shot here) and she's Australian, so she has that hot accent.  Basically she's superior to Britney in every way.  Of course you could put a midget in a banana costume and he'd be superior in every way to Britney too.  He can do everything Britney can do (drink, shop)  but also he could tie my shoes once I get really rich and realize that bending over is for poor people.  Advantage: Midget in a Banana costume.