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November 17, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments
Heidi Klum wore a super hot dress to the Victorias Secret Fashion Show after party last night, but it's still not slutty enough. That dress asks you to use your imagination, and since the internet can show you anything anywhere at any time, my imagination has been worn down to a nub from lack of practice. If I was a cartoon, and you could get a close up of my brain, it wouldn't show a mouse sprinting in a wheel, it would show a donkey asleep on his back and with his feet up in the air. Asking me to use my imagination to masturbate is like asking me to build a log cabin. I know people used to do that kind of thing, but I wouldn't even know how to start.