KATIE CASSIDY IS COOL

Katie Cassidy isn't famous, but if she were, this would be a story about the famous Katie Cassidy getting drunk and lying to the cops about her identity.  Think how cool that would be.  Awesome, right?  If you must know, she was Adam Sandlers daughter in "Click", and she's on "Supernatural" and some other goofy crap, but now she's won a leading role in my heart after her drunken late night antics.  The Smoking Gun says:

When Katie Cassidy, 20, was popped two weeks ago by Tucson, Arizona cops following a 2:15 AM traffic stop, she claimed to be Taylor Quinn Cole, a 23-year-old actress. According to Tucson Police Department reports, Cassidy was riding in a Chevy truck driven by a 19-year-old male when the vehicle was pulled over for moving violations on October 30. She appeared drunk when quizzed by cops, who noted her slurred speech, clumsy movements, and booze breath. Cassidy's blood alcohol content was .16, twice the legal limit. Cassidy, a West Hollywood resident, told cops she lived in Vancouver and was not carrying any identification. She claimed her name was Taylor Quinn Cole and that she was 21. Asked her date of birth, Cassidy replied, "4-29-84." An officer then told her that date would have made her 23. That's when Cassidy confessed, "Okay, Okay, I lied to you–that wasn't my real name." [The 1984 date Cassidy offered is Cole's actual birth date.] Cassidy told police that she lied about her identity because she was scared and, according to one report, "She said that she is a Hollywood actress and that this would not look good for her."

Now this is more like it.  This is how whores in Hollywood are supposed to act.  Getting drunk, lying to the cops, stealing someone else's identity.  I'm surprised she didn't grab his gun.  Lindsay Lohan can keep making teddy bears for the retarded or whatever the hell it is her boring ass does now, we've got a new Lindsay.  And even better Lindsay.  Lindsay 2 is just as drunk but not a fat freckled mess like Lindsay 1.  Lindsay 2 is extreme.  Extremely interesting, that is.