PARIS HILTON IS TAKING A STAND

God bless Paris Hilton for having the courage to address the problem of drunk elephants.  Drunk elephants are everywhere these days: in our schools, our neighborhoods, our churches and synagogues, you can't even go to the market anymore without drunk elephants intimidating you and harassing you for money.  My sister was even raped by one.  But Paris is standing up to those fatcats in DC, the ones advocating more drunk elephants.   The AP says:

Paris Hilton is being praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India.Activists said a celebrity endorsement such as Hilton's was sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers' homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage."The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," Hilton said.Last month, six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking the potent brew and then uprooting an electricity pole."There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad," Hilton was quoted as saying in Tokyo last week.

It goes without saying that Paris Hilton never has any idea what the fuck she's talking about.  This drunk racist bitch probably thinks "elephants" is some type of euphemism for black guys.