BRITNEYS LAWYER IS REALLY GOOD

Britney Spears is just smart enough to not be tied to a stake in the yard, so she probably shouldn't interview her own lawyers, because apparently they're as dumb as she is.  Today her attorney told the judge in her child custody case that Britney's drug tests are inconvenient because she's such a big star.  Then she told the judge that he wouldn't understand.  Presumably after that he started to speak and the lawyer stuck her palm out, smacked her gum and said, "wha'eva".

K-Fed's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, went to court this morning, arguing that Brit's visitation should be modified because she's violating the order requiring her to respond to the drug-testing people within an hour of the time they call.High-powered lawyer Anne Kiley, who reps Brit, told the judge her client has received calls as early as 8:00 AM. Kiley said pop stars don't get up that early, adding, "You are not a pop star with a number one album, so you don't know."

It's always a solid idea to remind the judge in your child custody case that you don't get up until about noon, and that nothing on heaven or earth can roust you out of bed.  Judges admire parents who are lazy.  Maybe also add something about Britney not liking the doctor at the drug testing place because he looked "…kinda Jew-y".  You know those people killed our savior, right?