ELLEN HAS DONE THIS NINE TIMES

Ellen DeGeneres bawled her manly eyes out last week, crying on her TV show, begging and pleading for a pet adoption agency to return a dog she so desperately loved.  But according to the New York Post, Ellen has done this kind of thing before.  In fact, Ellen has adopted a dog only to quickly pawn it off on someone else NINE FREAKIN TIMES.  Page Six says:

Kerri Randles says she gave DeGeneres a male mutt named Stormy two years ago, only to find out less than two months later that fickle Ellen had re-gifted him to a member of her staff."She may have had it for much less time than that. I only say two months because that's when I called to check on the dog and found out she no longer had it," Randles said. "I was totally shocked. I thought she was out of her mind."DeGeneres may have passed along several other dogs over the years. Howard Stern said on his Sirius show that he'd heard she had done this nine times before.Randles said DeGeneres seemed a perfect pet owner at first, but she quickly discovered the daytime TV hostess was "neurotic and crazy."When Randles took Stormy to NBC studios to meet DeGeneres, she was "drilled" for four hours by the star, her assistants and the crew.DeGeneres finally decided to keep the dog for a few nights to see if he'd fit into her home. She suggested that Randles take the dressing room next door to "tell the dog privately that she'd be going home with Ellen."

It would be awesome if just once a celebrity wasn't completely fucking insane.  What kind of a lunatic adopts a dog and then gives it away nine damn times?  I would never do that.  Mostly because I wouldn't adopt a dog.  I just can't be tied down like that.  My model airplanes are my only companions.  So between that, my metal detecting and my renaissance fairs, my life is just too jam packed with sexy adventures.  Sorry baby, but that's just how I roll.