BRITNEY IS A IDIOT

It turns out the reason a court ordered Britney Spears to give up custody of her children yesterday was pretty simple: she's a complete and total fuckup.  Less than two weeks ago, she was ordered to undergo twice weekly drug tests, enroll in a parenting class called "Parenting Without Conflict" by the end of the week, attend counseling classes and apply for a California drivers license.  Britney did none of those things.  The Daily Mail says:

Last Friday, Spears was banned from driving the children unless she had a valid California driver's license. But on the weekend, Britney was allegedly seen driving her two children around LA without a license.She was already being investigated for the alleged hit-and-run and for driving without a license in August, offences for which she was warned she faced up to a year in prisonNew York divorce lawyer Raoul Felder said: "She was driving without a license with a child in the car," he said."You can put aside the in and out of rehab, the shaving her head. But this? When a judge went out on a limb for her? There's no going back."

It's charming to see the way Britney just blatantly flaunts the law.  In my mind, I picture Britney standing before a dignified judge in a stately, conservative courtroom, and the judge stares directly at her, and she stares directly at him, and he painstakingly explains his demands, one by one, in clear everyday language, and he looks right at her, and she looks right at him and nods.  But then we see the scene from Britney's point of view,  and it's just a bunch of insane bright colors and rainbows and cartoon bluebirds hanging a banner that says "we love you".  And there's crazy circus music and a bear on a unicycle and an 18th century strong man lifting weights and acrobats and a seal with a ball on his nose, and the judge is a knight on a horse and the horse has sparklers in his mouth the knight tells Britney that she's doing great and "we believe in you!!!"  And then a guy dressed like Abraham Lincoln except he's on stilts and his suit is bright yellow comes in and hands Britney a cupcake.