MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ CITES BRIT FOR SPEEDING

Britney got pulled over for speeding on the 10 freeway at around 12:30 Saturday morning.  Supposedly, she wasn't drunk or anything, she just calmly signed her ticket and then got out to let one of her hagfags drive.  It's sad when getting a speeding ticket is the most responsible thing you've done in months. That should be the title of her autobiography, "It's Sad When" by Britney Spears.

She really shows us the power of lowered expectations. When you've become accustomed to someone wiping her ass on the drapes and dropping babies, a speeding ticket is almost endearing.  I use the same strategy with my girlfriends.  For the first few months, whenever they start talking I go, "Yeah, whatever, lardass."  And if they keep going, I just roll my eyes and make the jack-off motion with my hand.  I don't remember where I was going with this, but anyway, long story short, bitches love me. – LM