EVERYONE HATES SNAGGLETOOTH

Kirsten Dunst moved to a 4 million dollar house in the London suburb of Islington a few months ago so she could be closer to her hunky boyfriend Johnny Borrell, and – brace yourself – her new neighbors already hate her.  Pretty shocking, huh?    The Daily Mail says:

It is claimed that three families have written to Islington council to complain about her late night parties and the loud noise.We're told she's developed a reputation for disturbing the peace and having a wild time as she leaves the pub and brings people back to her quiet street.Our well-placed source claims: "Kirsten isn't very popular in Islington at the moment. The locals are incensed that she's changing the tone of the area. She's started spending nights in the local pub by herself chatting to the localsWhen closing time comes she invites them all round to her house to continue the party. But it seems the noise levels and people coming and going at all hours is getting to her neighbours."They've had enough and apparently three families have written a petition to the council in the hope they'll take some action."Where they live used to be a peaceful neighbourhood but now they think it is like party central."

Wow, I'm really sorry about this England.  This is embarrassing.  You got Madonna and Paltrow and Dunst.  We got Kate Beckinsale and Kelly Brook.  You really got fucked in this deal.  We could have told you you were gonna hate Snaggletooth.  Everyone does.  She needs to find a country where annoying bitches with creepy pebble teeth and dead lifeless eyes will be celebrated.  Then she'll be all set.