PARIS HAS CHANGED

Paris Hilton called Barbara Walters from jail yesterday afternoon, and during their brief phone call, Walters said Paris sounded lucid but tired, and seemingly ready to change her life. ABC News says: 

The unusual conversation came about because Kathy Hilton, Paris' mother, had phoned me, and while we were talking, Paris called on the other line. When she heard I was talking to her mother, she said she'd like to talk to me herself. She sounded tired but totally aware of what she was saying.

"How are you?" I asked.

Paris answered, "I'm hanging in there." But she declared, "I feel as if I'm a different person. I've dropped my appeal. I don't want to cause any more problems." "I'm not the same person I was," she said. "I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance."

I asked what kinds of things she might want to do.

She said she would like to help in the fields of breast cancer — her grandmother had breast cancer — or multiple sclerosis. Her father's mother suffers from that disease. She thought she might get toy companies to build a kind of Paris Hilton playhouse, where sick children might come, and the toy companies could donate toys.

Whatever. People don't generally stop being spoiled whores overnight, so I'll believe this transformation when I see it. I'd trust someone to use telepathy to cure my cancer long before I'd trust anyone even remotely affiliated with Dr. Hilton. Paris is a genuine retard, and she has no idea what the hell she's talking about. I guarantee she gets on stage to lecture about multiple sclerosis and just talks about her vision of a world where people only have one sclerosis.