PARIS GOES TO JAIL MONDAY

Paris Hilton goes to jail on Monday, and she wants to make sure she looks her best when she does.  The Daily News says:

Sources say the jail-bound heiress has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her Hollywood Hills home at 9 a.m. Monday."The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies," an insider says."Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she's going to do the same out of going to prison."But the pal observes: "It's not just about marketing, it's about making money. If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater."

Paris will do well in prison with this kind of street-wise thinking.  The other girls will be afraid of someone with such pretty hair.  Another good idea would be to get a crown of jewels and then fan out a bunch of 100 dollar bills.  The other girls will then remember those reports that says money has all kinds of germs on it and just leave her alone.  It's practically poison, and they'll all think "she loco".  Paris should really try that.  I've got a good feeling.