LINDSAY SHOULD BE A LAWYER OR SOMETHING

In the Allure magazine interview where Lindsay Lohan says her friends are lost without her (more on that here) Lindsay also makes a very convincing argumnet that she didn't really need to go to rehab, because she never actually had a drinking problem.  Lindsay says:

"I've never passed out in my life, I've never vomited from having drinks.  Like in public.  I would never do that.  Well, a few times."

I read a quote once where Lindsay said she always wanted to "hang onto her dreams".  Hopefully one of those dreams was to become a famous drunken and borderline retarded Hollywood penis receptacle.  And if so, congratulations.  It's like this chick just starts talking and it has to end up somewhere and by the end she really has no idea what happened.  Like that time I hired a hit-man.  Wait, did I say "hired a hit-man"?  I meant to say "ordered ice cream."  So many flavors, I was in way over my head.  Butter-pecan?!?!  Aww, god dammit!

(read the interview, if you're into that sort of thing, over on linds-lo.com)