50 IS A TOUGH GUY

Tony Yayo, a member of 50 Cent's G-Unit crew that I’ve never heard of, was arrested last week on assault charges after he allegedly attacked a 14-year-old boy in Manhattan.  The boy is the son of manager Jimmy Rosemond, who is the CEO of Czar Entertainment.  Czar manages several hip-hop artists, including The Game, who is a rival of 50.  Yayo allegedly smacked the 14-year-old when he saw him on the street wearing a Czar Entertainment t-shirt.  And you’re probably wondering, “yes, I get that they hate kids, but what about the Jews?“  Well don’t worry, they don’t like Jews either.  50 called into a New York radio show yesterday and said:

“Worry about the Je-Je-Je-Jew unit. They're the real goon squad. When the lawyers come out, you'll see what it is. I don't pay nobody. I only pay the lawyers."

I read that four times, mostly because I can barely read, but also because 50 talks like someone who just landed here on a spaceship.  “Je-Je-Je-Je-Jew”?   What the fuck does that mean?  Was he on a roller coaster when he called, or a bronco?  “Je-Je-Je-Je-Jew” sounds like 50 was making little train sounds, something you rarely hear people doing outside the spaz community, and really not very intimidating at all.  Rappers are also the only ones who get into fights with champagne bottles while wearing full length fur coats, as if life was some kind of 80‘s soap opera.  So in conclusion, rappers might wanna reconsider who they model their tough-guy theatrics after.  Am i being attacked or entertained?