PAX THIEN JOLIE IS VALUABLE

According to this story in the Sun, super-secret evil kidnappers had a diabolical plan to kidnap Pax Jolie.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have tightened security after claims of a plot to kidnap new son Pax Thien and demand a £50 million ransom.

Bodyguards heard of a “credible and meticulously planned” bid to snatch the newly adopted three-year-old as he was flown back from Vietnam.

What the hell was the point of that.  Why devise some crazy plan to kidnap some toddler when you can snatch Angelina just as easily.  She's way hotter and probably cries less, and you could probably have sex with her if the ransom falls through, which it definitely would.  Because nobody knows what these mysterious "pounds" are.  £50 million could be 20 dollars for all I know.  And even then I'd be like, "Eh, I could get a lap dance or that Vietnamese kid back…"

C'mon, Angelina wouldn't miss this kid.  He doesn't even know his new name yet.  She'd just go get some other brown kid from a different country and forget all about this new one.  I think there's a blue-light special on girls at BabyMart in Malaysia this week.

Oh, and I guess I should mention that at the end of the news story Brad Pitt's rep denied the entire story, so it probably never happened and I just wasted your time.  But whatever, you're reading blogs.  It's not like you've got anything better going on. –MU

UPDATE: There. I changed the picture to something sexy. Happy now?