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March 29, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments
Michael Jackson is just like us. Except fucking insane.
[Jackson] may attempt to erect a 50-foot, robotic likeness of himself in the Las Vegas desert in full view of incoming planes. According to entertainment company consultant Mike Luckman, his business partner Andre Van Pier has already designed what we'll refer to as the massive Jackobot, complete with… laser beams shooting up into the sky. The plan will only go into motion if Jackson decides to launch a show in Sin City, for which Van Pier has also contributed sketches of a "stage set of a giant audience-interactive video game with human cyborgs controlled by the audience."
Jackson also drew up detailed plans for his show, in which he teleports onto the stage then uses his jetpack to fly over the crowd with his dancing team of pegasuses, except the pegasuses have unicorn horns because regular pegasuses don't really do it for him, you know? Like, why have two different kinds of magic horses when you can have one SUPER magic horse? At least I think that's what his plans depicted. It's hard to tell because he only had the 8-pack of Crayola to work with. And if I learned anything in the four years I spent studying art and experimenting sexually with nude models in Paris, it's that you can't convey the true meaning of an idiotic retard's futuristic space show without periwinkle and burnt sienna.
(The picture's of Scarlett Johansson because Michael Jackson is a creepy alien and Scarlett — wait, why am I even justifying myself?) –MU