BRITNEY WENT TO THE HOSPITAL

Britney Spears was admitted to a Century City hospital yesterday after complaining of a toothache.  Sources say she checked in because she was experiencing significant pain in one of her molars.  She was seen leaving the hospital less than one hour later.  It's not known if she had any actual work done on her teeth or if she was just on the prowl for some lortab.  (editors note – lortab is fantastic).   Spears' rep Larry Rudolph denied internet reports that she was in a tailspin after leaving rehab late last week. Rudolph said:

"They're all wrong, she just went to the dentist. She had a toothache, I have no more details."

Apparently Promises rehab philosophy is based on complete and utter chaos, since that's what her stay was marked by and it seems to be carrying over.  I can't see how that would help, but then I'm not a trained scientician like they employ at these sham Hollywood "rehabs".  Luckily it was recently discovered that this story wasn't interesting to any living thing, so we're just gonna move on and pretend like it didn't happen.  This is also recommended for every other Britney Spears story, too.