BRITNEY IS DELIGHTFUL, LOYAL

MSNBC (via Star) says that former Pepsi spoke girl Britney Spears is drinking 24 Cokes a day while at rehab, providing her with the energy she needs to be an insufferable pain in the ass.  The tabloid says Britney has been pretty much unbearable during her time at Promises rehab, torturing staff with her slovenly ways and demanding attitude.  Sources say:

“She’s been very demanding; acts like a 12-year-old and throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get what she wants!  She refuses to pick up after herself and even asked if she could hire a maid!  She’s asking for this and that, special food, special everything … and she’s not that nice to anyone.” … “I heard she keeps saying she is just sick from postpartum depression and that she does not have any real addiction problem, which is a joke. She has an addiction.”

My sources say things got off to a rocky start when Britney ordered a roasted pig for dinner one night and she demanded it be stuffed with another roasted pig.  And the waiter said they cant stuff a whole pig into another pig.  And Britney said, "you lissen to me sass mouth, I want dat super piggy, ANA WANIT NOW!!!"  Then she tied a napkin around her neck and she held a knife and fork in each hand and yelled, “wheres ma double piggy!!!  Ya'll finnin to make me mad!”