JESSICA SIMPSON WANTS A BABY

I'm almost positive this is an old story, but the New York Post says today that Jessica Simpson is thinking more and more about starting a family.  And, unlike some Hollywood whores who do it just for attention, at least Jessica has a good reason.  According to the Post:

(Jessica) says what's getting her ready for motherhood are her dogs. They're putting her into the maternal caregiving mode. Gorgeous Jessica, who'd have no trouble with volunteers to make a baby in the old-fashioned way, says she'll first adopt. So look for another designer kid to come down the pike.

There's no way anyone is gonna give Jessica Simpson a baby, right?  A human baby, I mean.  Jessica Simpson shouldn't be trusted with a cell phone, much less a human being.  Why not just put the baby in a cannon and spin the cannon around and then just randomly shoot the baby somewhere.  At least give the baby a chance.  There just seems to be a very good chance that Jessica will end up using the baby to hold open doors or as the base for a ramp.  In 6 months she'll forget she ever even had a baby and end up calling the cops because "I think someone’s in the house."