THIS TOTALLY ISNT GONNA WORK

Star Magazine says that Lindsay Lohan was given painkillers after her recent appendectomy and the drugs triggered a relapse that sent her on a binge of drugs and alcohol.  A source says:

“She left the hospital with several painkillers on her; that was her downfall — she was using the painkillers and continuing to go out and drink. She woke up each morning exhausted and feeling sicker than ever.”

Even still, Lindsay was forced into rehab after an intervention by family and the producers of her most recent movie.

“The movie executives said they had a major issue with getting her insured for the film and threatened to sue her for between for between $3 million and $5 million for the delays her constant absences were causing on the set.  Lindsay’s family and other people she works with sat down with her last night and convinced her she had to go into rehab to save herself professionally and personally. She couldn’t afford to have another letter come out about how she was being unprofessional and missing work on the set.”

It's kinda hard to feel any empathy for whatever dumb ass hires Paris Britney Lindsay and then watches everything fall apart.  In Lindsay's defense, the drinking helps.  It's gotta be stressful to get high and then stumble around the beach in the darkness yelling at demons.  And your jaw hurts from when you got punched out at that coke party.  And it turns out the homeless guy in the trunk of your car isn't even really dead yet.