BRITNEY IS DIVORCING KEVIN

Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline, her husband of two years, citing "irreconcilable differences."  The paperwork was actually submitted yesterday in Los Angeles, the same day Spears made a surprise appearance on the David Letterman show in New York.  Spears is asking for legal and physical custody of their two children but is not objecting to Federline having “reasonable visitation rights.”  It is unknown what type of financial settlement Federline will receive, but even those who have been critical of Spears in the past commend her for the extremely strict prenuptial agreement she forced Federline to sign just before their marriage.  When asked why the earth suddenly feels like it's spinning faster, scientists said it's because Kevin Federline just fell off the face of it.

GIDDY UPDATE – In regards to a settlement, a report in the Daily Mirror on May 26 said, “even though the princess of pop is worth more than 120million, getting rid of Kevin may cost her as little as 350,000 and a half share of their Malibu home because of a canny prenuptial agreement.”  Their home in Malibu is said to be worth 7 million.  Many fear that this news, coupled with the complete failure of his debut rap album, may lead Kevin to the kind of depression that not even suicide can solve.  Or can it….