JENN AND VINCE DID NOT BREAK UP

People.com says that Jennifer Aniston told Oprah Winfrey yesterday that she and Vince Vaughn have not broken up, despite rumors to the contrary.  Several audience members confirm that, while taping an episode of Oprahs show to be aired next week, Aniston said they have not split up, but they are not engaged either*.  Aniston also denies having gotten breast implants recently, a story that was in the tabloids.  Apparently.  One audience member said Aniston was even "more beautiful in person, and very real." Another agreed, saying Aniston was "just as beautiful as she is in pictures."  Which leads me to believe they were being sarcastic.  Because Jennifer isn't even close to pretty, much less beautiful.  If "Friends" was canceled after one episode like it should have been, then Jennifer is the ugly mom on the laundry commercial with frazzled hair because the leading brand just won't cut it.  The sexy mom with the tight sweater already knows this, and that's why her kids hug her at the park. 

(*god can't you just hear her shrill fucking voice saying that, acting victimized, so put-upon and tortured by her celebrity.  what a bitch.)