BORAT IS THOUGHTFUL

Borat was turned away from the gates of the White House yesterday when he tried to invite President Bush to a screening of his movie, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", or what I like to call "B.C.L.O.A.F.M.B.G.N.O.K." for short.  The fictional TV reporter from Kazakhstan played by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen timed the invite to coincide with an official state visit by Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev.  Along with "Mighty Warlord Premier Bush", O.J. Simpson, "Mel Gibsons" and other "American dignitaries" were also invited to the movie premiere.  News.com says:

Shortly after Nazarbayev dedicated a statue in front of the Kazakh embassy, Borat denounced an official Kazakh publicity campaign running in US magazines as "disgusting fabrications" orchestrated by neighbouring Uzbekistan. "If there is one more item of Uzbek propaganda claiming that we do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for baking bagels, or export over 300 tonnes of human pubis per year, then we will be left with no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults," Borat said.  Cohen's Borat comedy routine has drawn legal threats from the Kazakh government, which keeps a tight lid on criticism in its news media.

Geez.  The Kazakhstan people seem a lot cooler when I think they're like Borat.  But then again I pretty much picture them riding a Pegasus and living on a diet of rocks and scorpions.  And also me becoming their king because I can harness fire, which is mostly just me holding a lighter above my head as they bow before me.