JESSICA SIMPSON is really smart

Jessica Simpson is planning to invest in a chain of restaurants called "Daisy Duke's", a "Hooters" style barbeque joint where sexy waitresses are clad in revealing tops and the famous tiny denim shorts.  Not surprisingly, the idea was thought up by Jessica’s dad, Joe, who spends a terrifying amount of time thinking about his daughters bodies and how he can profit from them.  The first restaurant will be located inside Caesars Palace Casino in Las Vegas and will open next year, with Jessica set to make at least five appearances a year.  A source says:

"Joe's going to make a lot of money from this."

Fantastic.  Barbeque sauce on my hands and hot chicks who are 99 percent naked.  Why not just put superglue in the sauce too, glue my hand to my penis, just in case red sauce all over the front of my pants didn't draw enough attention to my erection.