GWYNETH PALTROW IS AN ANGEL OF MERCY

Gwyneth Paltrow used her American Express Red Card yesterday to buy some shoes at the Prada store in London.  The Red Card, if you don't know, is the AMEX that donates money to African charities, up to 1 percent for the first 10,000 dollars spent, 1.25 percent after that.  How do I know she used her Red Card?  Don't be frightened my friends, I'm not a powerful psychic using my talents for evil.  I know Gwyneth used her Red Card because I studied her subtle body language as she left the store.  It's easy to miss, but if you look very carefully you'll notice how she holds the bright red card face up at a 45 degree angle for about 300 yards as she walks through the streets of London.  You and Gwyneth now probably agree that she's an amazing woman.  Because someone else was giving money to charity.  Gwyneth didn't give any money to charity, but AMEX will in about 9 months.  For her part, Gwyneth will find it in her heart to wear a pair of thousand dollar handmade Italian leather pumps.  Somewhere in Africa right now, a starving child is kicking up his heels in triumph, knowing that help is on the way.  At the end of the fiscal quarter.  He'll be dead by then, but Gwyneth Paltrow will look fabulous.  And isn't that what charity is all about.