Britney Spears is moving

Britney Spears is reportedly convinced that her opulent lifestyle in Malibu is hurting her marriage, and is moving back to her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana. Spears has reportedly spent $200,000 upgrading her mothers house with plans to live there and is also on the market for a neighboring property that her idiot husband Kevin Federline can retreat too if things get tense between him and Britney’s mom, as they have in the past. She has also reportedly visited an OB-GYN in nearby Baton Rouge to make plans for a c-section when her second child is born. The mayor of Kentwood (home of the Kangaroos, by the way) said:

“She wants to come home. She’s building more rooms for her growing family. She wants a nursery and some kids’ rooms.”

I don’t ask you for much God – although I would like to be in charge of who lives and who dies – but I am asking for Kevin to move to Kentwood. I’m begging you. Because his idiot poser ass would last 24 hours with brothas from the country. Kevin might the bad boy of getting manicures and buying wife beaters at Fred Segal in Beverly Hills, but he will get the beating of his life down there, I promise you, I don’t care how fresh his dance moves are.


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