Angelina Jolie is tricky

Did Angelina Jolie use voodoo to break up the marriage of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston? How should I know. Leave me alone, you guys. But ‘Doctor Snake’ thinks it’s a possibility. And he’s a doctor! Word is that Jolie gave Pitt a vial of gray powder to ward off accidents during the filming of Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Pitt told a friend that the vial contained the remnants of a bat. Doctor Snake, the author of cult best-seller “Voodoo Spellbook”, thinks that Jolie is working voodoo on Brad.

“That vial sounds suspiciously like a voodoo ‘mojo hand’, or magical charm. One dark voodoo spell uses Bat’s Heart Incense, which is burnt to break up a love affair or marriage.”

Finally something that makes some sense. I always wondered how a physical train wreck like Angelina was able to seduce a hunk like Pitt. I know some of his other girlfriends haven’t been great to look at, but Angelina is really tough on the eyes. I can count the time I’ve masturbated to her on one hand. Wait, a hand has 800 fingers right? Oh. Uh, never mind

note – Angelina is too busy shopping for eye of newt and wing of bat to do photo shoots these days, so just know that this one is pretty old. Back when she was still crazy fun.