Make Octomom a Prison Bitch: A Softer Female Perspective

Octomom is facing jail time for committing welfare fraud. She’s been on the dole to support herself and her fourteen fucking kids (which is a doubly inappropriate curse as she never actually fucked to get the kids), but thanks to her stripping and miserable attempt at a porn video worthy of male spanking, she actually made almost $200,000 in 2012. Apparently, California does not see $200K as being in the needy camp, fourteen kids or not. So, she’s been ‘investigated’, which is welfare fraud department for being ID’ed by the Pre-Cogs. You’re guilty.

Octomom should just cop to it, pack her surgically rejuvenated labia luggage, and head straight to The Big House. It would be the best thing that ever happened to her. I’d rather be in jail getting railed with broomsticks by some cell block enforcer dyke than at home trying to support fourteen whiney brats that look like a mix between me and the bus station vagrant who donated his sperm for a bottle of Thunderbird. While Octomom is in jail, the kids should be declared free and legal tender so Jennifer Aniston can buy them up and make them the babies she won’t have with any of the dudes she’s been madly in love with the past 20 years. Octomom is obsessed with Angelina Jolie, so Jen purchasing her offspring is the closest that basic bitch would ever get to stealing Angie’s life.