Jessica Simpson says her boobs are too big to run

Jessica Simpsons’ Weight Watchers ads begin next week, and she told USA Today why she thinks she gained so much weight during her pregnancy. The answer may surprise you. But won’t. Basically she’s dumb and she ate a lot.

“I let myself indulge in everything I wanted because it was the first time I was ever pregnant, and I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to be happy and eat what I wanted.”
“I didn’t realize it (the weight) didn’t all come off with the baby.”

Woah, slow down Jess, and dumb it down a little for those of us who aren’t doctors. You gain weight when you eat lots of fattening food? I heard that’s just an urban legend. But at least she’s on the right track now, with lots of intense cardio.

“My boobs are way too big to run at this point. I’m just walking.”

Oh ok never mind. She gave birth on May 1st, and 4 months later she can walk under the supervision of a personal trainer. She’s the perfect person to give diet and exercise tips. If Weight Watchers wanted someone cute to waddle around they could have just hired a penguin.