Lindsay is weaving another rich tapestry of lies

Driving into the back of an 18-wheeler and totaling her rented Porsche on Friday instantly sent Lindsay Lohan back to her default setting, which is to immediately lie to everyone about everything.

The first thing she did after the wreck was text the set of her Elizabeth Taylor movie saying she wasn’t the one driving. She said her assistant, Gavin Doyle, was. And that’s because she’s not supposed to be driving.

The movie has sent a Cadillac Escalade to bring her to work every day, which was lucky because it followed her on Friday and quickly got her away from the scene. But not before someone tried to bribe the driver of the 18-wheeler, of course.

Lindsay, naturally, says that’s a lie. She says she has no reason to bribe him because he’s the one who caused the wreck. And if you don’t believe that, then what about her brakes? Would you believe they failed? Well you better because she’s also blaming them.

There’s no word yet on if she’ll be ticketed for this or had to take a drug test at the hospital, but there might be something to that because she’s still on probation until May 24, 2014.

Until then she shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near anything like a Porsche. If she drives at all it should be something that’s had the airbag replaced with a razor sharp spike. Let’s see how fast and reckless this cunt drives then.